Studying abroad gave me the kind of freedom I could only dream of back home. Freedom was something intoxicating and I was drunk on it at the age of seventeen. In the years that followed, I met new people, travelled to new places, and fell in love with the curl of someone's hair and the vastness of the Australian land. Time is measured differently when you're away from home and everything is your own personal responsibility. Knowing how to manage your time effectively was considered to be half the battle won. Before I knew it, I was in my early twenties and transitioning into adulthood. Growing up was mostly an unconscious process. Responsibility became a heavy weight on my shoulders and I realised that I had merely been playing make-believe all this while.
We adapt to new places. We meet strangers and forge a connection with them. We establish a routine and things which once seemed so new and exciting gradually loses its shiny veneer, fading into the mundane and normality of everyday life. The streets remained the same but people drifted in and out of my life like characters in a book. We mustn't depend on people for happiness because everyone leaves at some point. When do we realise that it's truly time to let go? It's a gradual process, falling in and out of love with people and places. There's a sense of disconnect that grows slowly with time. I learned that we will never be able to get to know a person completely, it's a constant effort and it's easy to forget for the most part that people are made up of many different facets. You know you have come full circle when you meet people from your past and see nothing but a stranger gazing back at you.
Expectation is truly the root of all heartache and somewhere along the line, I found myself becoming the kind of person I had hoped I'd never be. Sometimes we can't help but make assumptions and take things for granted. We take comfort in the familiarity of what is always there that we tend to forget to count our blessings. We hurt the ones that we love, but forgive them anyway is a mantra that I kept repeating to myself. But I'm beginning to understand that whatever this is with you isn't a friendship. Not really. I have finally reached the end of the road with you. I have never felt as lonely as I do now, surrounded by millions of people in this city. It's really time to go.
Expectation is truly the root of all heartache and somewhere along the line, I found myself becoming the kind of person I had hoped I'd never be. Sometimes we can't help but make assumptions and take things for granted. We take comfort in the familiarity of what is always there that we tend to forget to count our blessings. We hurt the ones that we love, but forgive them anyway is a mantra that I kept repeating to myself. But I'm beginning to understand that whatever this is with you isn't a friendship. Not really. I have finally reached the end of the road with you. I have never felt as lonely as I do now, surrounded by millions of people in this city. It's really time to go.
